My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
