You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
