Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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