I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
