i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize