Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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