Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
