Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
