I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
