Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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