It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
