shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
