yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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