can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
