I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
