i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
