pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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