I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well you can't waste a boner
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
