Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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