Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We got so high we made milksteak
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
