I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
