Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
