We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
