Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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