Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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