singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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