chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The best revenge is premature balding
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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