I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
