hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
