Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
