am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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