i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
