I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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