Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
