True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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