he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
