id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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