We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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