That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize