Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
