Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize