windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
