He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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