You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
