i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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