you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
