he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
