haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize