She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
