I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
