And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
