I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
