I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
