are you so shy because you have an std?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
