Michael Bay diarrhea
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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