that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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