imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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