I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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