brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
