i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
