i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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