She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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