I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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