That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
