if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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