Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize