look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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