and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
