Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
