On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
