I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
