If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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