Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You ruined the universe
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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