yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize