he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
