I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So much Jack, so little girl.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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