hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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