ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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