Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
